by pocononaturist » Mon Dec 12, 2011 10:26 am
It has been a while since I have communicated with this online community. This year has been full of activity and busy-ness, and we've had more than our share of health issues.
Last Sunday, Dec. 4, my wife of 30 years, Kim, suddenly experienced serious problem in her brain. Doctors have not been able to determine if it was a stroke or something else, but the effects are the same. She was partially non-functional and her speech was slurred. In the ambulance on the way to the hospital, her heart stopped for about 20 minutes before they got her back. Once they got her to the hospital, it stopped twice more. From the time they revived her after the first arrest, she never moved on her own again. She was officially pronounced brain dead on Monday, Dec. 5 around 5pm. At that time, we had them remove the respiration tube and let her go.
I have always wondered what it would be like to lose a spouse. In my mind, I concluded that it would be of such a devastating nature that my own well-being would be in jeopardy. But I am here to tell you that God's grace is sufficient. I have slept soundly every night since her passing on to Glory. I've not experienced any emotional breakdowns or setbacks. God has enveloped me in a divine layer of comfort that I cannot explain.
In addition to His comfort to my soul, my family, my church family, and my circle of friends and acquaintances, have all rallied to support me during this time. God is good.
At her bedside just after we had the life support removed, realizing that in reality she was already gone to Heaven, I held her hand and closed my eyes. With my oldest daughter at my side, and my pastor and his wife nearby, I raised my head toward Heaven and prayed a simple prayer of acknowledgment to the Lord:
"O Lord, thank you for the many wonderful years together. Thank you for four beautiful children. Thank you for many wonderful memories. You're far better to me than I deserve."
I give praise to the Lord for His comfort, but also for many blessings, even in this sadness. For one thing, my wife was diabetic and beginning to suffer the slow decline in her health that would eventually lead to her death. She has just had a fistula installed in her arm so that in the months to come she could undergo dialysis. She was not looking forward to that in the least. Her heart was also weakening, which is probably why she had the arrests. But to go the way she did meant that she suffered very little at the time of leaving this world. For this, I am very thankful. To God be the glory.
Michael, aka
PoconoNaturist