Mostly Men?

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Mostly Men?

Postby floridabill » Tue Aug 11, 2009 11:45 am

This has probably been asked before - so feel free to direct me to the right posts (still learning my way around)...
Why does it seem its mostly men that persue a nudist path (at least here at CNC)?

Is it just that women aren't posting? Are men more open to this? Women more concerned? Men don't care as much?

I would think women would be more involved simply because they are much more at ease with nudity and friends. Men are raised not to go to the bathroom together, etc etc - but women hold hands, hug, kiss, change clothes, etc etc etc...



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Re: Mostly Men?

Postby natman » Tue Aug 11, 2009 1:28 pm

Yes, it has been greatly discussed.


unfortunately, our society, both Christian and secular, have pounded into women's heads that they should not be seen unless their bodies are a #10 or better. Regarless of their age, they MUST always work to have the perfect figure and perfect skin. Society also ingrains in them that nudity ALWAYS EQUALS sex.



Women are more open about their bodies to other women because they have so many issues, and their issues do not usually reflect negatively on them unless they affect their outward appearance.



Men tend not to discuss their issues because to do so is generally seen as a sign of weakness.



However, in our society, men are not under as much pressure to have a perfect bodie. Balding bodies with beer bellies are symbols that we have "made it". Consequently men do not have the hangups about personally being nude that women do.
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Re: Mostly Men?

Postby jochanaan » Tue Aug 11, 2009 2:56 pm

I've also read that more men than women tend to spend lots of time online.
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Re: Mostly Men?

Postby stillseeking » Tue Aug 11, 2009 4:49 pm

jochanaan wrote:I've also read that more men than women tend to spend lots of time online.


That's funny....I always thought it was the other way around, jochanaan! Then again, where I spend most of my time online (homeschooling boards, etc.), it is almost all women!! :wink:

But, hey, Bill....I am here, sometimes..... :wink:
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Re: Mostly Men?

Postby floridabill » Tue Aug 11, 2009 11:20 pm

Ahhh - cool - a woman!
I will let my wife know that you responded to my post. Thanks.



She is overcoming her fear and self conciousness. She said last night that I should keep sending her copies of posts and more info on the places we might go and the people we might meet. She's very open to this, but at least as fearful as I.

I think the main difference is our ages - shes in her late 30's, me - late 40's. I have reached a point in my life (mid-life??) where I don't care so much what others say - I want to know for myself. And I see no scriptures at all that can dissuade me - so that being the case, its all inside me - and to overcome that, I need to press forward. As Paul said - pressing on...

Thanks!

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Re: Mostly Men?

Postby minister72 » Wed Aug 12, 2009 2:40 pm

From another couple in mid and late 30's, you are going to find answers to that question all over the place. Fear was, and to some extent, is still a significant factor for my wife more than me. I think, in addition to body issues women face is the fact they also hold to the idea that there is something sexual involved. We also struggle with the issues of what happens if someone discovers this and "outs" us to the church we serve. Personally, part of me wouldn't care, but another part of me that is protective of my family is deeply concerned about this.


And again, on the men vs women point, I think you will find as you look at the question more closely there have been a variety of cultural and sociological shifts that have influenced this over time. It wasn't too long ago, if you were very wealthy you had your own private shower, most people used communal showers, countelss stories have been told by older naturist who recall all the boys swimming nude in PE or at the YMCA, then maybe women had private showers and the men had communal. It varies so much today by where you are and how concerned directors or board members are about getting sued. When you travel to others cultures, the view of the body is completely different than here in the states. I imagine a lot of it comes down to what we were taught and experienced as children.
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Re: Mostly Men?

Postby floridabill » Wed Aug 12, 2009 8:26 pm

Hi minister72,
Thanks for the response...

I am glad to hear from another minister. I think I am probably more fearful than my wife that someone I have known (not activly preaching right now - but contemplating a new work..) would find out. Part of it would be a great relief - but part of it - well we all fear to some extent what others may say.

For my wife - she doesn't have the desire for the freedom that I do. Although I honestly think that once she experiences it, she's likely to go beyond me in wanting the freedom.

Anyway - thank you very much - this place has been agreat source of information and comfort - I am relaly looking forward to a first visit someone - the only issue now is finding the place and time.

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Re: Mostly Men?

Postby jochanaan » Thu Aug 13, 2009 4:58 pm

Bill, if they find out because they visited our Village, you might just ask them what they were doing here...:mrgreen:
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Re: Mostly Men?

Postby floridabill » Fri Aug 14, 2009 10:54 am

Its amazing how we fear what someone might find out about us, but then we forget how they would find out - either we tell them, or they are looking themselves...


I will say - yesterday I visited the yahoo group and checked out the pics from the last convocation. When I saw the minister behind the pulpit preaching - well - thats true worship and reality before God!
I mean - how to be truly open and vulnerable before God and man? Be naked. I love my Lord, and to be that free and open is to me - just very awesome.
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Re: Mostly Men?

Postby bones » Sun Aug 16, 2009 4:22 am

i never realized it was mostly men
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Re: Mostly Men?

Postby Ramblinman » Sun Aug 16, 2009 4:33 pm

As others have said, real world naturist parks have more women than online naturist forums. Women are getting heavily involved in social networking sites like Myspace, Facebook, Twitter, and the dating sites, but the rest of the Internet is still dominated by men. Still, let's admit that women in the US are not raised with as much nudity and body acceptance as men. But in recent years, women's beach swim wear is closer to nudity what men generally wear and yet it tends to be for the wrong reasons. While I can understand the desire to celebrate having a young beautiful body by baring most or all of it, don't we also want to give people "permission" to be nude simply because it is natural, practical and comfortable regardless of our state of physical perfection or imperfection? Because of some basic differences between the sexes, women may always be slightly more conscious of their appearance than men on average, but can't we at least work toward the day that most women will let desire for the comfort of nudity override their self-consciousness and join us in equal numbers on the clothing optional beach?


From the hips down, the typical bikini bottom reveals more than the typical shorts a man wears to the beach these days. But there is understandably great resistance to peeling off that last little bit of fabric and meeting the public with nothing covering nipples, rump and genitals. Unfortunately, our culture teaches men and women that body parts that are true organs of procreation must NEVER be seen; there is the notion that covering these parts provides psychological protection against unwanted sexual attention. Popular culture has socialized many women in America to reveal some of their body to attract a mate, but also told that total nudity is too "loud" a sexual invitation.

Another part of the problem is that of body image. Even young attractive women often lack confidence in their bodies and women who show signs of aging even more so. For those women with the confidence to bare most or all of their bodies, there remains the hurdle of the treatment they receive on public and clothing optional beaches. Specifically, the staring and even harassment that young women get on clothing optional beaches may lead them not to come back to that beach again.

Another problem is that the nudist community lives in secrecy, still timid after years of persecution by mainstream society. So how will people learn about nude living if our communities are so seldom heard from? And lastly, the fact that deviant sex groups, swingers and the like usurp the terms naturist and nudist when describing their events and true family naturism gets tainted by association. But to be honest, naturist organizations have not done enough to isolate their member resorts that have allowed or even promoted sexually-charged events. Women have always been more vulnerable to sexual intimidation than men and even more disinclined to visit a mostly family-friendly resort that has a few bad eggs.

I am preaching to the choir for the most part, but there may be some newcomers here who would appreciate these general observations. Hope it helps!
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Re: Mostly Men?

Postby jochanaan » Tue Aug 18, 2009 12:49 pm

Ramblinman wrote:...Because of some basic differences between the sexes...

Are they really basic? Or the result of millennia-long social conditioning? I tend to think it's the latter.


Ramblinman wrote:...Unfortunately, our culture teaches men and women that body parts that are true organs of procreation must NEVER be seen; there is the notion that covering these parts provides psychological protection against unwanted sexual attention...


This teaching has the unfortunate side effect of making everybody ashamed of their genital organs. We know that, however they're used, God made our masculine and feminine parts, and He made them beautiful--yet far too many others consider them "dirty" and either refuse to mention them or think about them, rejoice in the "dirtiness," or at the least suffer deep conflict about them. And as many of us have seen, freeing our bodies from this shame actually is an aid against lust and shame both.8)
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Re: Mostly Men?

Postby floridabill » Tue Aug 18, 2009 2:46 pm

AMEN!
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Re: Mostly Men?

Postby Ramblinman » Wed Aug 19, 2009 7:27 pm

jochanaan wrote:
Ramblinman wrote:...Because of some basic differences between the sexes...

Are they really basic? Or the result of millennia-long social conditioning? I tend to think it's the latter.


Men are hardwired to be more responsive to what they see than women and male sex drive tends to be stronger. That said, by nature women do appreciate male beauty and women have sex drives (though sometimes socialized to downplay it); it's just a difference of degree, certainly not opposite reactions.
Male aggression, including sexual aggression is a very real phenomenon and inborn, but can be moderated by culture. Because women are physically more vulnerable to male aggression than men are to female aggression, if they are socialized to feel vulnerable because of nudity, it is understandable that an American woman who is new to naturism might enter it with more hesitancy than an American man.
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Re: Mostly Men?

Postby deyclan39 » Mon Nov 30, 2009 4:56 pm

Women at least my wife got over the shame quite fast, and don't feel so embarrassed if we post nude photos of her in our Flickr site. She hates rude remarks and those usually come from people that thinks nude is paramount to sex which is wrong. Its all about getting over the first hurdle!!
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